Becoming queen of the universe

August 15, 2017

Well, summer is over and shit is getting real. I was not prepared for this at all, and to be honest I hope there are people out there busy not enjoying life as much as me. After a day or two of being pissed all the time, I’ve realized that I need to make some changes. 




So, if you’ve been dumped, hate your job, miss your summer vacay in Italy, or don’t have a job and still feel like having rosé from 1 pm onwards everyday while the rest of your friends are being busy, important and healthy – here are some suggestions to get out of your funk.


1. Realize you are in a funk

It may take some time to realize you’re being a bitch to your mom every time she calls, or not really seeing that you whisper “idiot” to people who stand in your way on the bus every morning. Howeeeever, when you realize that you are usually a pretty nice and cool person and that right now you are acting like you hate everyone – you’ve already come a long way. Realizing stuff is so good.



2. Feeling sorry for yourself. IMPORTANT: Comes with time limit

Some self-pity is OK. For a bit. I mean, he dumped YOU? Nobody wants to hire you, the smartest person on the planet?? Let it out. Lie down, watch the Mindy Project, eat all the candy, drink the wine. Not for long though. And do it in private because ain’t nobody got time for that. Pretty soon friends and family are finding you incredibly annoying and if they are not already telling you, it’s time to do something about it. This is probably the time to try talking about it. Explain why you are feeling down and why there are five empty wine bottles and a bag of chips in your bed.




3. Make a plan

Now that you have realized stuff, felt sorry for yourself, and explained to someone, and yourself, why you are feeling down, it’s time to make a plan. This plan includes all the things you need to do to become the queen of the world once again. The LIST is your best friend at this stage. Write a list of all the little steps you can take to fix whatever’s wrong. For instance, writing this article was on my list.


*Your list*:

  • Contact that person at that firm you know who can hook you up with that interview

  • Buy cat

  • Clean desktop

  • Delete him from all social media

  • Eat a vegetable 


BOOM. Done. Almost.



4. Do what’s on the list

Making a list feels so good, organizing all the stuff you’ve been thinking about. It’s such a good feeling having this great list. Doesn’t stop there though. Now you need to do all the stuff on the list. So, one clue is to make the list possible to actually finish. I mean, don’t put “run marathon tomorrow” if your running shoes are covered in dust from the last two years. So, make a manageable list and enjoy crossing out one thing after another and suddenly you are QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE.









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